This was written and sent to me by Seagrace, one of my online friends from ObesityHelp.com. I thought it had a lot of good ideas for the first few days after surgery, and she has a wonderful sense of humor! Enjoy!
Hi Mrs. Scarlett, I wrote this a few days after my surgery. Keep in mind that everyone's experience is different, but maybe my views can be of help to you and/or your husband. Most importantly - after surgery keep stress to a minimum to speed your healing.
Things I Wish I Had Known * Things I Wish I Had Done Before My WLS Surgery
Before I begin, I wish to hereby acknowledge my diva status. I am hugely concerned with aesthetics and if my environment isn't pleasing, my mood will be reflected. I like to be surrounded by beauty, both organic and functional.
Not Everyone Sails Through This Operation - Maybe it's my selective memory at work, but in talking with people who had already had this operation, I don't remember anyone saying they had a difficult time with pain, nausea and regret. I had all three in major doses. Though it was horrible the first few days, every new day is better than the last.
Photos - I wish I had seen photos of what my stomach would (might) look like after surgery. It was a shock. OMG! Purples, greens, reds - bruises in technicolor. The doctor said it was caused by large doses of heparin (six shots to the stomach, pre and post surgery - ouch) that caused the bruising, not because he pounded the crap out of me. He also said that due to my C-section scaring, he had to cut through lots of scar tissue to reach my intestines, causing the massive lower abdomen bruising.
Clean house - I wish I had hired someone to come in to clean my house top to bottom while I was in the hospital. Coming home to a dirty, smelly house was hugely upsetting. I was very conscious of my open, wounded body being exposed to dirt and germs. Demoralizing and stressful. I would have had the inside of the refrigerator and freezer emptied and cleaned. Food with any odor (or calories) would have been tossed.
Dishes - I wish I had accumulated some specific dishes and containers for the variety of liquids that I would need the first two weeks. Small Rubbermaid containers are great. Would love to have had a set of empty baby juice containers - easy to pour.
Instead of the small plastic 1 oz. cups, I wish I had more decorative, pleasing containers to sip from. Anything to lighten the mood and make taking those sips, sips, sips, more enjoyable.
Examples:
A. Child's tea set
B. Demitasse (espresso) cups and saucers
C. Aperitif glasses
D. Decorative shot glasses
E. Small crystal or other decorative pitchers holding a cup or less liquid
A small thermal container that keeps hot liquids warm for more than a couple of minutes is wonderful. When it takes 15 minutes to sip one ounce, it is usually stone cold by the time you are finished. Some hours cold foods were more soothing, some hours I needed hot liquids.
Candles - I wish I had purchased a variety of votive candles to scent the air and create an aura of calm. Many different scents would have been great because what is pleasing/appetizing changes nearly hourly.
Comfy, yet sexy - I wish I had purchased a beautiful, loose-fitting cotton nightgown and had it ready to change into when I got home and was able to shower.
Hormones run amok - I wish my husband had known that my emotions were going to be ridiculously volatile. He should have been briefed on what to expect and prepared with a list of appropriate responses such as:
A. Poor baby, I'm so sorry (universal response, extremely useful.)
B. Would you like me to rub your back (head, feet, hands, etc.) to help take your mind off the pain?
C. Can I get you ANYTHING (must be said with extreme sincerity and affection - sarcasm not allowed) Suggest that she might like another pillow, another magazine, another hug.
D. You are absolutely right (other universal response.) It doesn't matter what she says - above all, do not argue. You are dealing with a person who is essentially out of their mind. They are in pain, their hormones are whacked, regular medications have been interrupted and other, unfamiliar drugs are coursing through her body. You wouldn't try to argue with a crazy person, would you?
These expressions of love must be given hourly for the first three days home from the hospital and only discontinued temporarily if your wife tells you that you are bugging her to death. Resume within two hours.
B.O. and bad breath - I wish my husband had known how sensitive I would be to smells and take extreme measures not to offend olfactory. Like, take showers twice a day. DO NOT use cologne or scented aftershave, deodorant, etc. Brush teeth frequently and spray mouth with freshener in between brushing. I wish I had taken my dog to the groomer and had him bathed and teeth cleaned just before my surgery. I wanted to cuddle with him, but just his normal smell was too much.
Food - I wish I had made it plain that under no circumstances should food be cooked or consumed in the house for the first few days. The first morning home from the hospital my husband made coffee (a smell I, unlike the majority of the population, absolutely abhor) and to make matters infinitely worse, the coffee spilled on the burner and I had the smell of burnt coffee to make me gag. Then he made himself fried eggs in butter and ate them while I was walking around the house dealing with pain and nausea. Justifiable homicide, I say.
Water - I wish I had purchased a variety of bottled waters, not just one brand. For some reason, our usual bottled water tasted like dish soap the first couple of days. I had my husband search all over town for more than the usual two brands of water carried by our local grocery store. Again, my tastes buds were changing hourly and while the water might be okay one hour, it was vile bilge the next.
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